Friday, August 20, 2010

Do you know how hot it is? No, how hot is it?

Sounds like an Abbott and Costello routine but there have been too many days of 100+ degree temperatures and counting here in Austin TX.

I posted this on my old blog last summer when we had 56+ days of heat over 100, and that is not even mentioning the heat index. Since we are now over 10 days, I thought it would be appropriate to share again.

I listen to our local NPR station each morning on the way to work and now I say in unison with Burton Fitzsimmons, "A 20% chance of rain today and temperature likely to reach near to 102 degrees." Now the 20% chance of rain means that it may rain somewhere in the state of Texas for 5 seconds and the 102 does not include the real temperature with the heat index. Next, I wonder aloud, "Remind me why I live in Texas?" and I never seem to find a solid reason.

Don't get me wrong, Texas is "interesting." I don't want to offend the people I've met, so let this serve as an apology in advance. One thing about Texas is that the people are friendly here. You can usually spend 30 minutes talking to a complete stranger about... you guessed it, the weather. (Don't even think of mentioning politics here, you'll likely to be hit with a rectangular object with a five-letter word embossed on the cover, but that's another blog note...) Most of these conversations start in a line for something and begin with "I remember one (insert season) when it was so (insert cold, hot, wet, dry, strange).

Now Texas is big about everything and Texans are happy to tell you that things are always bigger here. So this means that if its summer, temperatures can be triple digits. There is only one place in Austin one can stop the boiling of your blood: Barton Springs. The water is below 68 degrees year round.
I told someone in NY it was 104 degrees the other day and she said I could bake bread. I haven't tried that yet, but you can melt butter and fry an egg. If it really rains, there are flash floods, I never heard of a place with more low water crossings and the fools who attempt to actually drive their car through it to get home. If its dry, the ground gets so hard it cracks and the red ants go insane searching for water. Did I mention the hail storms? Out of nowhere a hail storm will kick up and the hail is anywhere from the size of quarters to the size of baseballs, yes my car was pounded by baseballs and I was nowhere near a baseball stadium. Sure, we get tornadoes too. I've only had to sit in my closet once this year and yes, the sky turned an eerie shade of green.

Oh, and I here tell (don't you love my Texas speak?) that since it is so dang hot, "they" are predicting a wet fall, as if this brings any relief? We'll have several days of car accidents as the oil in the roads seeps to the surface, followed by more days of accidents since Texans do not know how to drive, much less drive in the rain. And if we're lucky a wet fall will be followed by a wet winter which means icy roads. Did you know that Austin has like only a dozen trucks that can actually sand the roads?

See, you really can spend 30 minutes talking about the weather in Texas.
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  1. Replace "Texas" with Boca Raton. Add a large dose of kvetching about your health and joint pains, and there it is!

  2. It's been horribly hot here in PA as well. Great time to be prego! Right now it's pouring rain though--much to my relief!!!