Dear Me,
1984... you are 20. I still see you when I look in the mirror. Now softer, more gray, wiser. If only you knew what I know now. Seriously, I would not change a thing. Your are the eternal optimist, a dreamer an adventurer. You are on on the verge of discovering who you are. Really... don't second guess yourself so much. Sure, you will get bumped and bruised along the way, but that truly builds you into the woman I am today. Hold tight kiddo!
You will go on to earn that college degree a little later and in the process you will find your political voice. You will lead, meet women who will be your sisters forever and some will have a profound impact on your life. They will teach you that the personal is the political, that you are a goddess. Your mentors will fall from the pedestals you placed them on, but sisterhood is powerful and true.
You will rise and fall like the tide where love is concerned. But you will find love. The old adage, “You'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince” is actually true, why else would it be an old adage? You will fall in love, crash and burn. But you will rise again like the phoenix from the flame because you are a survivor. Those with whom you share true love will be loved across many lifetimes, for once you truly love, it cannot be undone. Try as you may to cut those bonds, your love is eternal. You will learn that true love is not fallen into. That is a crazy ride that may pulse with adrenaline, but you will eventually fall, which includes pain and scarring. Love is something that is built over time upon a solid foundation of true friendship,
I have only one request, and it is that you keep doing what you're doing because our path, maiden...mother... crone is one we travel together. I am mother now, and you are always with me because I see you smiling back at me in the mirror every day.
Love me
At twenty I was finishing my junior year of college and planning to be married that September. (I graduated college in 1981!) When I looked in the mirror I saw a 14 year old dressed fom head to toe in black leotards and tights. I had dreamed of becoming a professional dance,BUT better late than never, realized that I was not talented enough nor willing to work that hard.
ReplyDeleteSo there was marriage! My inner child often asked, "are you sure?" My father asked the same. I was sure, after all at twenty you know all there is to know. Ha Ha.
So, 1984 (how Orwellian) you are 20, Nancy 23, Eric 25.My children are the biggest achievement of my life! You had all been pulled up by your roots, but managed to replant yourselves. We all went on our paths, often bumpy, but with grit, determination and strong survival instincts
we all made it!
Now at 74 I guess I am a crone. At heart I am and always will be a maiden. Borges, famous Spanish writer, wrote that we all fork through time. We come to crossroads and make decisions, some are good, some are not. A a Buddhist it is my Karma. Some is pre-planned, but a lot is a decision process. We are on a wheel of life. It is our choice to go round and round, over and over again, repeating. Or we can get off, try new paths, go in other directions. I am a seeker and will never stop trying new paths.
And I love you so my darling daughter.